I have seen recently searches to get to my blog, the search string is ” selective mutism disorder blog”. My concern is the word disorder, puts such a negative outcome adn on the present condition and what that means to others. Selective mutism may be a condition, but not a disorder to me, this tags it as something bad and wrong. It is not and it just is happening to many children, including my son who overcame the condition. I am not sure this is the best way to phrase it.
Perhaps unenlightened doctors or teachers think of it that way and it may be the correct medical term, but I don’t like the labeling. I am sure a parent would not. It is happening to their child and they desperately want to find a way to have it get resolved, to getcured or what ever it takes to make this condition go away.
Disorder places these children with lower learning students and this is not the case, they are most likely highly gifted. If kept, placed or trapped in the system, they will loose their edge. Yes it is harder to teach and interact, but never give up, do not allow them to be placed in lower learning and behavioural classroom and do not allow this labeling of Selective Mutism.
I think a milestone should be added today to this blog. My son graduated Jr. High, will be a freshman next year and had a 4.0. For a kid who could not put two words together during pre school, this is a milestone.
He talks, he talks too much, he is popular, words that if you had asked me 10 years ago, I would of said how, he never speaks a word to any of his class mates. He has tons of friends today. The selective mutism never came back, but there are still hangovers to those days. He is a perfectionist and it is his way or the highway.
He will be a teacher, lawyer or preacher when he grows up, his word are so spot on. The kids at school call him Dr. >>>>, like Dr. Phil since he can tell them what in their life is not working and get them on the right track. Parents call him the voice of reason. They always know they can go to him to find out what really went on. Words are a big part of his life. He is a very good writer. It comes easily to him. Sometimes I think for all the early struggles, it should be easy. Time will tell.
I still sit in amazement at how far we have come and how many paths we went down. Always fearing every grade that it would re-appear, luckily it did not. How many teacher I had to train on what it was. How many feared it and tried to put him in a ” special class”. How many were annoyed that they would have to have a child with Selective Mutism who turned out to be gifted.
So instead of going down the path they wanted him to go, I had to bully my way up. I mean fight hard for him, fighting with the school administration, talking with state administrators who did not want to fund his alt test. Funding it ourselves and finding out we were right all along.
The point was he was not mute and dumb, he was selectively mute and brilliant. People have to learn the difference. Einstein did not speak until he was 5. That piece of info carried me through many a dark day. Helen Keller was blind deaf and mute, but not stupid. My son did not speak at school, but did at home, so I saw different child then they say everyday.
So my advice and why I wrote this blog was to help others, since I had no road map. Do not give up on your child, Dont’ ever give up, follow your gut, and do what you can do to make it right.
I have written this blog to chronicle for others the paths we took with our son who had Selective Mutism, it starts at the bottom of the posts and reads up. I have recently asked my son of what he remembers about the condition and would he remember at all that he was selectively mute?
It turns out he does remember and he remembers it in pieces, but not all pieces. He remembers not talking in school, but not that we took him to a psychologist. He remembers that we tried a lot of things, but is not sure what we did. He remembers teachers coming to visit at the house, but he did not remember that we had a family member who was a school teacher come to observe him in the classroom setting. It is a real patch work of memories.
I also came across a picture of him with other students in his preschool the other day and the blank look on his face was clearly there, and he was participating by hitting a pinata. This was so typical of a selectively mute child to participate but in silence. His face changed dramatically from happy engaged child driving to school to a blank expressionless zombie face every day he was in pre school.
He remembers it as the way he was, he remembers clearly when the mutism broke. He remembers when the things broke on the table and from that time on he could speak.
I will ask him to chronicle it from his remembrance when he is older. Someday I will ask him to add to the blog. But at the moment he is not looking back and his future is very bright. He already in jr. high knows he wants to go to college at Standford or Harvard and we know he has the will, the brains and the voice to get there.
When I started this blog I never imagined it would have as many who seek it out or that I would have so much to tell on the subject.
So yes we did remind our son that he had selective mutism and he was not bothered in the least.
Be sure to start at the beginning of the Archives in Feb and read forward by month to get the full picture of selective mutism, what happened and how it was overcome.
A reader of my blog asked the following questions, that several of you asked about.
Her comment was: How old was your son at the time of this testing? I believe with all my heart that my daughter is gifted as well as having the selective mutism (along with some SPD issues). She’s only 4.5 and has started reading without real prompting. She’d hit the ceiling the non-verbal portions on a kindergarten readiness test (The McCarthy Scales of Children’s abilities), which is considered a bridge between developmental and IQ tests. She has a language comprehension of a 7-year-old. I don’t know how well she did on the visual-spatial parts, but I think she did quite well. I’ll know for sure next week.
I feel that a gifted with an IEP designation will be the way to go, and seeing how it worked out for you confirms the idea that I need to push for it.
But one question remains – how did your son test so well on the private test, but not well on the school’s test? What did the private tester do differently?
My reply: My son was 7 when after three years of trying to figuring it out and being tuned down and not passing 3 years of the school version of gifted testing, did we have him tested outside. I think the second grade is a good time, since at that point he gap between this advancement and the teaching level, left us no choice. His second grade teacher called saying after 6 weeks from the start of school to tell us that he was done with second grade and what did we want to do with him? Now we had that happen also in first grade, but at least it was after the xmas break. My answer was teach him at his level. That was not met with agreement. Thus the outside testing was our only option left, besides leaving the school and that crossed my mind many times.
The private testing is done one to one, not in a group setting. It is not in a school setting, this is very good for children with selective mustim like mine who may not be able to speak at school or have anxiety issues around school setting or children from the school.
I think one of the areas that we relied a lot on teachers advice for was on the question of should he have the work up and qualify for an IEP or 504 plan. I heard from parents that have children with disabilities or other conditions that they were put on a 504 or IEP depending on the condition. The parents called it the “ruby slippers” to getting the educational needs met of their children. Basically it gave them the legal standing to make or in some cases force accommodation and educational tailoring with in their school for their child.
What the teachers failied to tell me when I asked about 504 or IEP, was that I was asking for the wrong accommodations. My son was very bright, he was a good student in their mind, so thier advice to me was why label him, and therefore they recommended nothing should be done. They would make thier own accompations in the class room. That is what I heard year after year, teacher after teacher. Oh no … you really don’t want to do that, don’t label him, he is too bright.
In the spectrum, I learned in most cases the IEP and 504 are for lower performing or those needing accommodation. What I finally learned is that I should of been asking for was a gifted evaluation. Why the teachers did not say anything is interesting. I learned later they don’t like to loose their brightest students out of their classroom and wanted the opportunity to teach him. But it just was not working and he was not getting the education at the right level. Now he was so bored and we where loosing his attention.
I talked with other parents to figure it out. I later learned you can be designated gifted and also have an IEP and or a 504. The issue was education path. If he was first designated gifted, they would provide the right level of education, then apply the IEP to allow accommodations. If not the accommodation would be in a lower learning room or in the class room. Those programs are to slow the process down for learning not accommodate a high learner with additional needs.
Once I asked the right questions, the test was given and with his anxiety he did terribly on the test, as I expected. Put him in a new room with a strange teacher and he would not pass any test, let alone a gifted test. So they said he does not qualify, we could reapply in a year. Dead end.
The teachers later explained that the testing for gifted given at the school was only one test format and the goals was to keep the number of children who qualify down, since they do not get the funding to the levels needed for these program. The other area is they are not equipped, nor do they want to have a mixture of a high class level of students and a child with accommodations. I think it was a fact that they would need to change the way they teach and did not desire to do that.
They did give me a clue, that there were 10 total tests that the state would recognize, the school just would not give them, they chose the hardest one to pass to keep the numbers down. Nor would they pay the $1200 to test him privately. They basically said again, if we could afford it we should try that route. If not, he would not be accommodated.
So this put us in a world of he is so advanced, but the tests that the school needs a grade on says he did not qualify …so your basically stuck.
Should we invest in the tests outside? Why would the school not offer the other tests? It lead me on another road in this long journey to figure out how to get the right education to my child that fits for him, not the school district process. I had ideas, armed with options and wanted to not let this go. I call the state education board and learned some interesting facts…..
I would ask each year the teacher if this was something that should be done for my son. Their answer was, oh you don’t want to do that. He is far too smart and you really do not want him labeled.
Now this was confusing to me. In the end we did have him tested outside at great cost and he was tested as and designated as gifted, it was needed for him to be in the right setting for a selectively mute child to excel, not what the school district dictates for main stream students. This designation put him on the correct path and he excelled. It took a lot of our effort and our money, but it was so worth it.
I did look today at the Generation Rescue web site to see what other info could be learned. I was stunned to see the passage below that was on their web site for Generationrescue.org. As I read, I could check all of the things listed, and that I had chronicled in my blog that I saw and experienced with my son with selective mutism. I have underlined them below. This info below was written for autism, but all of them applied to my son with selective mustism. I really do not know why this would be the case, but it is. I will keep searching for answers.
Was there a detoxofication of my child that I was doing and not aware that it was of benefit. I was very focused on this diet at that time, since I felt there may be a connection. I had at the time had the homeopath rule out mercury or metals. He did have him add flax oils to his diet. Perhaps the pieces came together by accident?
This is a quote from Generationrescue.org:
|Treatment: What’s Biomedical Treatment?|
|Childhood Neurological Disorders (NDs) are typically diagnosed by professionals with psychology and psychiatry backgrounds. Parents are often told that their children’s diagnosis is the result of genes and is psychological in nature. Typical “psychological” manifestations of these NDs in children may include delayed speech, lack of eye contact, impaired or non-present social skills, shyness, perseverative behavior (doing the same thing repeatedly), delayed gross or fine motor skills, sensory integration issues (sound and touch sensitivity, etc.), not responding to one’s name, inflexibility with transitions, and major, often unexplained, changes in mood.|
|Yet, the physical or medical issues that our children often share are rarely noted or discussed. Typical physical manifestations of children with NDs may include food allergies and eczema, general gastrointestinal distress, constipation and diarrhea, yeast overgrowth, immune system disregulation, and sleep disturbances. Typically, proper testing would also reveal high levels of environmental toxins relative to neurotypical children.|
I had just finished my last blog on selective mutism and my gut feel that vaccines may be ground zero, when I was checking out from my chiropractor’s appointment. As I was at the check out there was a flyer taped up on the wall that read, “Are we poisoning our kids in the name of protecting their health? ” Now this caught my attention and I asked if she would make me a copy. It was from Generation Rescue, which I know nothing about and have never heard of before. www.generationrescue.org. But it laid out the case for autism rate in 1983 of 1 in 10,000 with 10 shots required. And in 2008, 1 to 150 with 36 shots required. In small print at the bottom was a thank you to Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy for their support of this organization. I had just seen her book on Autism at the Barnes and Noble when I was trying to find a book on selective mutism. Could we both be on the same path for different conditions? This info caught my attention.
I wonder has anyone looked at rates of selective mutism pre or post the vaccine increase? Is there a celebrity who had or child has selective mutism who can lend a face to this condition? The flyer talked about neurodevelomental disorders. Could selective mustim be part effected by vaccines?
Perhaps the autism focus and research will lead to answers that will gain traction with selective mutism? I know that my sons tourette sydrome acts up after vaccines are given, so why would it not create the issues with selective mutism that would prevent speech?
I also spoke to a gentleman at the airport who enlightened me that the sense of smell goes directly to the back of the brain is not influenced by areas in the front part of the brain. Thus my sons heightened sense of smell would not be influenced with his language part of the brain, that was effected be the select mutism. It is all small pieces of the puzzle I am still trying to put together.