Blog on Selective Mutism

If there was an area that we should of done better, it would be with his teachers.  They experienced first hand the condition of selective mutism and even after it has been diagnosed, they did not know what to do for it.  They wanted to help and were not trained how.  How to help? None of us knew. 

They did try, but all were within the speaking world teaching methods, which I feel are not effective. They tried various methods like flash cards, did not work for my son. They tried incentives of candy and treats, no go. We sent others into the class room to observe.  No help. Came for home visits, he did not speak to her at home. We video taped it in hopes that if he saw himself it might do something. Ditto, no change.

The question is DO SOMETHING, or is it better than ignore it?  For months we ignored it at the school level, working on an outside solutions.  We were ill equipped to work with his teachers. I learned over many years to be well prepared.  Articles in a notebook to show the teachers it was an actual condition. I always did a meeting during the morning of the first day of school. I would show up one hour early to introduce him and to talk about selective mutism and what to expect.  Some of his teachers where very open and glad I had come by, others looked at it as a bother and something else they were going to have to deal within their classroom. 

I could always spot those teachers since they asked about an aide.  An aide??? He does not speak, he will do everything you ask except answer you or speak to you or the other students.  He would not answer the aide, so what good would that do. Will you be in the class room, they would ask.  I can be there as much as you like, but it will not make a difference. How can we mark his progress if he does not speak? You will have to find creative ways to interact with him.

I just did not have the words myself to describe selective mutism to them in all its aspects. Does he have behavioral issues?  No. Can I or other children catch it? No. What caused it?  Something in has brain is shut down in the school setting.

The questions were endless. I had very few answers that were in detail.  Once the selective mutism had been resolved the conversation with the teachers were almost disbelieving that he had selective mutism.  We wanted to make them the early warning system to pick up on any behavior that would indicate it was coming back. They would always report at the parent teacher meeting how well spoken he was and how smart he was. They said they would like him to participate more.  More …. to us it was great that we were even having this discussion about more participation. 

They were more concerned that he was finishing the school year ahead of the other children and wanted to move him ahead a grade or move him to another school for the top gifted children,  They got a big resounding NO from us on both accounts.  But that was the issue that would be the crux of the issues for grade 1-6. Once he has his voice back, how much change do we want him to have?

I learned a lot and if a child is one grade above the school level the school in not obligated to teach the child at their level.  That is a sad fact in our school systems today.  They just expand the strands of learning. Thus we had to choose in our minds between keeping in place and speaking and getting them to teach him at this level. I never thought we would have to make that choice.

What was the school was willing to do? To them he seemed fine and advanced, so they just want me to go away.  We had come so far and I would not give up. So what was next?